My problem with inanimate objects.

I've been having problems with inanimate objects lately. No, not like walls jumping out at me and grabbing my wallet. Problems like alarm clocks being possessed by rick james or dead music gods, problems like a toilet that thinks it's in a marathon, problems like a mailbox that didn't want to close. I am tired, so tired of stupid crap of stupid stuff of socks that have holes in them from who knows where and am thinking about stealing a car and going to California. (Where the whole state is an animate object, and it will fall into the ocean as soon as I get there. ) I've got a lot to do-I've got a catscan and a funeral to go to.