Will anything go right?

I am sitting here with a pressurized system-I ate Hooter's 911 hot wings earlier and am paying for it now. I did not know I was THIS damned old that this would be happening to me. The last time I had a stomach that hurt this bad was sometime during being 21 where I got smashed and ate HOT BANANNA PEPPERS and then had some BIRTHDAY CAKE.

I WISH that something would go right and good for me sometime. Atleast I've got my health, and all the problems associated with that.

Trying to make this friday night pass while here at work

One thing I don't mind about working this job is the fact that I am trapped to a desk every Friday night til midnight. A few years ago, this would not have even been possible. Me, at work on a friday night? Bahaha. Yet I am perfectly fine. Well, this last hour is draging so I am going to have some coffee. Tomorrow, we go to the mall dressed up as Zombies and walk around and moan while pretending to be dead and scare the yuppies back to their bmws and range rovers.

My boss snuck up behind me and startled the crap out of me. And I am suppossed to be the one who jumps out of the woods to scare people.

Woodrow Wilson Class of 1996, Beckley WV

I just found this interesting link and am checking up on people I know.
http://www.wwhsalumni.org/1996.html

Justin EClass of: 1996Now living in: Beckley, WVDate: Monday, June 14, 2004Comments: Has anyone heard anything about our 10yr class reunion? I'm looking forward to seeing everybody again. I decided to buy a Chevy Tahoe instead of the Blazer...so if ya still live in Beckley and your windows rattle from the stereo of a Gold SUV with a chrome brushguard with a skull & crossbones on the front license plate...it's me you're cussin'!!! I hope everyone "I like" is doin good in life....and i still haven't heard from Amber McFarland, so if anybody sees her tell her to email me.....take care....and keep your ears open for my band...."White Noise"

Justin EClass of: 1996Now living in: Bradley, WVDate: Friday, March 05, 2004Comments: Hello again people! Well, let's see....I was robbed and shot in a Days Inn Hotel back in August 2000 with my fiance' Cassie Everhart (the one i messed it up with!! She took me back after months of begging and pleading). We sued the hotel and we just came back from Southern Pines, NC today from settling the case. We got quite a hefty sum of money which we'll have in about 20 days from now. I'm buying a new ZR-2 Blazer and a crotch rocket right off the bat. The rest will go to my education. I've decided to get my Bachelor of Science Degree in "Multimedia Software Programming and Video Game Design." I'm soo looking forward to it. Cassie and I are getting married outdoors this September. We're then moving to Denver, CO to get our educations there. She wants to be a Veterinarian. I hope all of you are doing well.....by the way, if anyone sees or hears from Amber McFarland, tell her i would love to talk with her online or over the phone or whatever...i'd love to know how she's doing...... I'll fill ya in on the Trials & Tribulations of the infamous Justin Elswick as they occur !LMAO!

Justin EClass of: 1996Now living in: Prosperity, WVDate: Friday, August 22, 2003Comments: Well....let's see...i always figured i was voted most likely to do time in prison...well....i did!!! Just got out last December 1st 2002...for the 2nd time. I'm living back at home now. I own my own business. "Smoother Audio and Video Production & PC Repair", and i'm about to own a second business within the next few months. I learned how to fix computers while doing time locked up, so i guess it was all for the best..even though i can't say i learned any lessons from it really. I'm still up to no good...as always. I just bought a new truck. Big jacked up red Chevy pickup. I'm all tattooed up now....and not finished either! I was with a great girl...Cassie Everhart for like 7yrs, engaged and everything...till i messed it all up with this lil ho named Heather Buzminsky!!! What a mistake that was. Now i'm in search again for a good girl with her head on straight...or at least as straight as mine. I'd love to hear from any of you who wanna contact me....unless it's to run your mouth....than just come and see me and i'll fix that for you too!!!! Well......write me and i'll write ya back!!!!Justin

Squirrels on Crack and bird spitting

Saturday, I came out of Pizza Hut and when I came around the corner, I spit up some gob of stuff. I didn't expect anything to move, just to hear a splat. Something moved, so I glanced down to see what it was. Unfortunately, There is this baby bird on the sidewalk trying to shake the gob of crap that some giant @$$ just spit on him. I learned that from now on, I must look where I am going to spit.

Squirrels on crack
Oct 7 2005
South London Press

NATURE lovers fear that squirrels could become hooked on crack cocaine plundered from addicts' hidden stashes.
The furry animals are thought to be behind a new drugs turf war in Brixton - stealing rocks of crack hidden in front gardens.
Tough police action to rid the town centre of dealers and addicts has seen crackheads abandon their usual drug stash hideouts.
Story continues

But the blitz has displaced some dealing into nearby residential streets.
Drug addicts are known to be hiding small stashes of crack rocks in people's front lawns late at night.
Squirrels have been spotted in the same front gardens, seemingly hunting out the buried narcotics.
The discovery has led some residents to speculate that the squirrels are already in the grips of addiction. One resident, who asked for his name to be withheld, told the South London Press.
"I was chatting with my neighbour who told me that crack users and dealers sometimes use my front garden to hide bits of their stash.
"An hour earlier I'd seen a squirrel wandering round the garden, digging in the flowerbeds.
"It looked like it knew what it was looking for.
"It was ill-looking and its eyes looked bloodshot but it kept on desperately digging.
"It was almost as if it was trying to find hidden crack rocks."
Crack squirrels are a recognised phenomena in the US.
They are known to live in parks frequented by addicts in New York and Washington DC.
The squirrels have attacked park visitors in their frenzied search for their next fix.
An RSPCA spokesman said he was unaware of the squirrels taking crack in Brixton.

http://icsouthlondon.icnetwork.co.uk/0100news/0400lambeth/tm_objectid=16217629&method=full&siteid=50100&headline=squirrels-on-crack-name_page.html

Newsworthy interest

March.02.04 : Tuesday
A freaking rooster!Dechardonae Gaines, 2, was toddling down the sidewalk Monday lugging her Easy Bake Oven when she became the victim in one of the weirder animal attack cases police can recall.In the cluster of beige houses at Lime Street and Safford Avenue where Dechardonae lives, man and chicken have coexisted peacefully for years in quiet defiance of city ordinance.That ended Monday afternoon, when authorities apprehended the offending rooster, named Rockadoodle Two, and its sister, named Hen. Hen was not involved in the attack, police said.

http://www.happyrobot.net/robotchow/robot_filter.asp?rfid=1184

Guys and girls

Guy: I'd go through anything for u
Gurl: Good lets start with ur bank acount

Guy: Hey, c'mon, we're both here at the bar for the same reason
Gurl: Yeah lets go pick up some chicks

Guy: Havent i seen u some place before?
Gurl: Yes thats y i dont go there anymore

Guy: Ur place or mine
Gurl: Both u go to urs and ill go to mine

Guy: Is this seat empty?
Gurl: Yes and this one will be if u sit down

Guy: So what do u do for living
Gurl: I'm a female impersonator.

Guy: Hey baby whats ur sign
Gurl: Do not enter

Guy: I would go to the end of the world 4 u
Gurl: But would u stay there

Guy: If i saw u naked i'd be happy
Gurl: If i saw u naked i"d be laughing

Guy: I want to give myself to u
Gurl: Sorry i dont accept cheap gifts

Guy: I know how to please a women
Gurl: Then go the hell away from me

Guy: Whats ur phone ..
Gurl: Its in a phone book

Guy: But I dont know ur name
Gurl: Thats also in a phone book

Outsourcing to India

So, due to the nature of my work, I speak with a discount travel service provider that begins with a vowel's customer service representatives frequently. Now, one thing I've noticed is they usually have an Indian or Middle Eastern accent. Just this evening, while talking to "Pete" who sounds like a guy I know named Muhanned, I realized that everyone I've ever talked to at (company in question) who has a heavy Middle Eastern accent has some super swell, apple pie name like Suzy or Tom or Bob or Jane. Not once have I talked with Samir, Rajmal or Habib. I guess that an enterprizing company such as (company in question) knows its US customers might be a bit sore about outsourcing to the Middle east, so they renamed everyone there so you wouldn't feel that bad when you couldn't understand what Suzy was saying because he accent was so thick you were sure she had stopped speaking English, and was now speaking Farsey or Arabic.

DRAMA! (Not the class from high school)

MY MOTHER HAS LOST HER MIND. MORE THAN BEFORE. She called me up this weekend screaming that she has no internet and that she cancelled Florida. (apparently she was suppossed to go on vacation or something, but due to unnecessary anger her ability to communicate was eliminated and ended up telling me she cancelled an entire state. At this time, Laura brought up the idea that this was not necessary, as Louisianna had just been "cancelled"). Blah blah blah no internet service......blah blah blah something about somebody......blah blah blah.......

About a minute into this, I screamed back that she needed to get a gun and just start takin people out. Then, she had to go. She told me she'd call then next day, but she didn't.