Mass email at work about chicken.

I got bored at work last week, and sent out the following email.
"In regards to the chicken and the egg, that's splendid. But the real question is which kind of chicken came first? We can rule out fried chicken, because cavemen didn't have fryers. I am thinking baked chicken or broiled chicken and it was cooked over a fire. And when was barbeque sauce invented? THESE are the important questions that matter.
Ian"
A bunch of people responded you so crazy oh my gawd no he didn't. Then,I got a response from Ken.
"OK, I'm thinking Rotisserie was the first kind as most cavemen had open fires and ovens came about much later. BBQ I bet cam very shortly after when cavemen first dropped the chicken they're cooking in maybe some fruit they were eating cause they wanted to check the chicken to see if it was done, and then continued to cook it."
Upon which, I got an email from Alex. She said:
"What about Buffalo sauce FOR the chicken. Did cavemen get the idea from the buffalo they were hunting? And what PART of the buffalo tastes that spicy but good? I will spend ALL DAY pondering these critical things.... "
I was excited. People were actually taking their busy work day to ponder delicious chicken with me. So, I forwarded Alex's reply to Ken. His response followed.
"To answer this one needs to know some history about the Buffalo: Back in Caveman days the buffalo was no as we know it today. Back about one hundred thousand years ago when primitive man was first getting in to groups to hunt larger beasts there was a fearsome creature that roamed the vast icy planes. These beasts were large fire breathing Bison. Many Cavemen died in these massive hunts but the end result was well worth the sacrifice. These gigantic creatures would feed the semi-nomadic people for months and the bonus was the fire gland. This was dried and ground up and then added to some stores of condensed Bison blood. This was slathered all over the meat as they slowly cooked the hard earned kill. The hot and spicy concoction was the worlds first "Buffalo Sauce". That recipe has since changed but the idea of a hot spicy sauce for food lives on to this day. And the name is derived from the ancient fire breathing "Buffalo". This is mostly all factual information by the way."
So, take some time to think about the chicken and ponder the different aspects of yum yum good.
(Yeah, I know I'm simple.)

Crackheads on Craigslist

So, I am trying to get rid of my old Legos, and they didn't sell on ebay. So I tried Craigslist and got a few responses. At first, this seemed legit, but read the last one. Woah.

Hello, I'm Dave .I am interested in your[AD]and I'll like to know your last offering price and to see the pics and to know the present condition if it will be okay with me.I'll be making my payment Immediately.If you do I want you to get in touch with me immediately for me to proceed with the Payment. As for the shipping I'll contact a shipping agent of mine who will arranged for the Pick up as soon as the transaction is sealed.I'll be looking forward to your response. Thanks and Have a Nice day. Regards Dave.



Hello,Thanks for the fast reply,i appreciate your desire in selling your( Lego's-Vintage Shell) to me,as regards Having made me to know the asking price for your (Lego's-Vintage Shell),i will be glad if we can go ahead with the transaction right away.This is a little more about me... I am 38 years of age.i am very nice ,caring, honest, responsible, hardworking, reliable and social.i like watching movies swimming and running and reading too. I don't go to late parties , do not smoke nor drink. i am ve-ry passionate, i like to share ideas with others.All this attributes i guess you will finally see for your self if i get in. But less i forget, sometimes aggressive when provoked to an extent. ..However,i will have to issue you with a money order from U.S bank in the amount of $3,500 as this will also cover the expenses of my shipper who will be coming over to your address to pick the (Lego's-Vintage Shell)and other goods that i am purchasing in the states for en-shipment..I ought to have paid you separatel! !! ! ! ! y,but due to the policy of the company paying me off,they would only issue one check on the amount..,all you need do is to forward the outstanding amount of the funds to my shipper on receipt of receiving the payment,you will send the funds to my shipper immediately for him to come over and pick the (Lego's-Vintage Shell) for en-shipment to me here in (CANADA)....If this sounds alright! with you,please,provide me with your ......RECIPIENT'S FULL NAME (NAME ON WHICH THE CHEC K SHOU LD BE PAID UNTO)MAILING ADDRESS (YOUR POSTAL ADDRESS AND PHONE NUMBER UNTO WHICH THE CHECK-PAYMENT SHOULD BE SENT TO)Best Regards....Dave.............

First day as a claims examiner.

So, I got this lady inquiring about her claim. Blah blah blah winter home blah blah blah summer home blah blah blah. So, I let her talk about how wonderful her life is while I live in the united nations and it's hard to find someone who speaks ENGLISH. I mute the call and start mimicking her. Then, with the phone still muted I said "Shut up lady. Buy me a Volvo!" Two coworkers on the other side of the room bust out laughing. One shot soda out her nose. Anycrap, I had to send a letter to the administration to send the damn check to where ever the hell she was. This is about how it was:

Could you make sure that the check gets set to her NEW York address. That is her summer home, but she is going to go there because the weather is favorable, and she will not be at her winter home so we need to send the check to the summer home because that is where she is going to be. I did not ask her why she would be at her summer home during the winter, even with the favorable weather, because I was afraid she would tell me. So, could you look into this? Ms. XXXXXX would appreciate that greatly. Toodles.

So, many of my settings haven't been changed since I came over her to the Claims Department from Customer Service. I am doing my first day's worth of work, and go to deny a claim. I get an error message, stating I am not authorized to DENY the claim at this time. I got denied trying to deny someone. Well, I will just send a letter out stating we are going to need documentation of his operation on his sphinctor and then deny at a later time. DON"T BUY TRAVEL INSURANCE AFTER YOU INJURE YOURSELF. We require documentation from real Dr's not just play actors on tv. Yup.