Ever step in doggy fudge?

Or land in it? I brought this on myself.

Compulsiveness

I might be compulsive. Maybe. Probably. Okay, definately. I am trying to evacuate the clutter within my life. I am trying to sell off all my crap I don't need that I don't want anymore, but can't just throw it away. And some of my crap is collectible, dochaknow? Yeah. I wish some crackheads would come along and buy my bike so that I don't have to run into it every time I go in my bedroom. And then the crackheads would have a good bike to ride. They could pedal their crack farther than they do currently. Yeah. And they could buy all of my crazy car crap. Maybe $500 for the whole load of crap. Yeah, dochaknow?

MY WISH LIST IF ANYONE GIVES A F#$*

A Black Jeep Wrangler
A Suzuki Bandit
My student loans paid off
A cruise to the carribean
A home with lavish decor
To be 50-75 lbs lighter
To have my life straighten out
To have direction
To have savings
To have great health
To be able to contribute to other's well-being.

My unwish list
All the time I wasted drinking
all the time I wasted in college
all the money I wasted in fines and college
all the time I squandered where I could have gotten farther in my life
the family I might have had
the money I might have made
the car I might have bought from my job
the house I might have bought
my gut

I'm smiling on the inside

So, my buddy Sean is giving us a washer and dryer. This is really great and I am very excited about not having to go to the laundry matt ever again, and not have to wash stuff in my bathtub or use the old wash board down at the river. I really would like a truck.

Stolen Swingsets, Saturn sunroofs and super sweet situations.

I have been up forever so far today. It is too_____to_____ and I want to go home now. Some man called me and I swore he said something about stolen pants, so I connect him to Laura. Apparently, I did not listen to the customer that well because it must have been the individual before him that had, or didn't have, the stolen pants. Anycrap, Laura emails me that apparently somebody stole this poor man's swingset out of his yard and that is why he is calling. Yeah, I know I can't stop giggling about this now. As Laura said in the email, "Who didn't see that moving down the street suspiciously?" That's a great question. The other question is who in their right mind, or apparently not, would steal a swingset? I don't have anything to respond to this.

MY SUPER SWEET SATURN SL2's Sunroof Ceases to exist and that seriously sucks. $112$ I din't have to close the dang thing at the dealership and to have them tell me it needs new rails and that would cost $610 to fix. I'm glad I din't buy the car for that reason. It's all good. It's just like I have a giant non working window on the top of my car. Hmmm.

By the way, my word for the day is DIN"T. I din't break in your house and steal your toaster, I din't tell your sister she was ugly and then knock her up and I sure din't wrap your car around that telephone pole.

Jeckyll and Hyde

Sometimes I am a little on edge and people die. Then there is the rest of the time, but I am not suppossed to eat sugar, and you know what tastes good yeah sugar mmm sugar and i eat the candy and drink the soda and the next thing you know I am walking around the office half naked with gummy bears hanging out of all of my orifices. I am trying to sell my crap well not crap but my legos and some car models. I want to build a house that is like a ramp or something filled with giant skylights. I am a little hyper right now. I think I might go get some coffee. I am working on writing a book, so I have been slacking off with my journal. Bugs are pesky little suckers. Want to buy my legos? Have you ever realized how thoroughly refreshing and thirst quenching water is? Years have gone by, and I can only put gatorade up there. Hmm. I would like to design my own house so that I can design it just the way I want it. I am thirsty right now and could really go for some ice water. I would like vaulted ceilings, and numerous tall glass windows, etc. Like the office kinda. Does anybody remember Cleary Canadian? My favorite flavor was the Blackberry. Mmmm. Why don't travel agents know anything?

Stupid crackers.

Sometimes, ok frequently, white people annoy the crap out of me. Just being white and doing white people things really just pulls my finger or something. I mean I was up in the courthouse this morning, and some crackers were talking about how life was hard and all this crap and how they needed to go out and get real jobs. Background: these preppy honkey's were in court for wreckless (or wreckful?) driving in their green and white suvs that mommy and daddy bought them (Age around 21). The guy had just gotten back from vacationing with his "buds" in europe and the girl babysitted for 2 hours 2 times the whole summer and was whining about how life is so substandard sitting in drawing room looking out onto the bay all day and having that shiny Volvo in the driveway. Oh, it is so hard to be white. Patrick and Hannah are enduring so many problems and being so oppressed and white. Maybe they can take us out to brunch; they can pay with their credit card.

My CHALLENGED telephone.

I am at work. I have a customer calling to get ahold of an airline. I inform her she must call the airline directly, but that I can transfer her. Or at this time, at least I think I can. So customer is all"Oh boy you're gonna transfer me yay!" and I am all "Please hold as I transfer your call" and suddenly this procedure becomes impossible. I place the customer on hold and conference said airline and go to bring customer on the line, but this does not occur. So, I start the procedure over. No luck. Third time should be a charm. But it's not. Neither are the fourth time (which Is about the time I started laughing), the fifth, six or seventh time (which is about the time that Rachel started laughing), nor the eight or ninth time. During the ninth time, I just started pressing all the buttons. I figured that eventually, something good would happen. Eventually, It did. Said caller may have gotten disconnected and lost somewhere into a black hole, or just maybe to the place where Laura transferred the Portugeuse woman and her translator. Yeah, a woman calls and asks for a translator. So, Laura gets one and then brings everyone together on the line, and then just disconnects from the call. So, somewhere out there are a Portugeuse woman and her translator floating around looking to talk to someone. I wonder if they will get to talk to my customer.

Oddly enough, everyone that I have transferred to that airline since has been connected. Go figure.