Little thinker

When I was a kid, I listened to these tapes called Little Thinker that were suppossed to stimulate kids to think, and then draw a picture. This was actually busy work/ cheap babysitting for my parents. I remember a poem from the tapes still to this day. It's a story about Ira Ferd.

There was a little boy,
his name was Ira Ferd.
He did not like to walk,
and so he rode a bird.
Ira Ferd! Ira Ferd! Flying upside down.
Ira Ferd! Ira Ferd! You're such a silly clown.
But clever little Ira Ferd,
he did not mind the names.
He knew they were just jealous
cuz they could not do the same.

Boy, my life is wonderful that I remember such interesting items from childhood.

I am a movie star/ california housewives.

I just had Lithotripsy last week and they gave me painkillers for when the kidney pushed its way through my body and the jagged edges caused pain. I don't care much for drugs, but the pain was a bit unbearable at times. I took the painkiller and it dulled the pain. And it kind of made it feel like I was floating around. Not bad. Actually, it was great. It was really great. Now I understand why all these Cali housewives and moviestars are addicted to painkillers. It made me feel all smooth and happy. I wanted to get in my BMW and drive on down to Starbucks and get a mocha lotte before going to rip someone a new @$$/shoplift the latest fashions. Yup.

Gotta love Wikipedia.

I admit my cracker @$$ had no clue what a street sweeper is. I am just not urban enough anymore. So, I have WIKIPEDIA on the internet. I secretly have used it for this and that, but could not pronounce it. So anycrap, I started searching around on the site and realized its got everything here. And links to items associated with everything. Wow. What a way to blow 4 hours at work. Awesome.

New Years Resolutions.

1. Get in shape. I am joining a gym so that I can get into shape. I am tired of walking by windows and sucking in so that I look built not just out of shape. I am tired of not fitting into pants I fit into 3 months ago, as well as having an entire closet filled with clothes I haven't fit into in 3 years. I am not bying any more fat boy clothes either.

2. Diet. I need to change my diet so that I don't develop diabetes like my father and so that my body can run more efficently. I need to diet so I am not a fat slob. This means no more soda (bad for kidney stones)diet or non-diet {probably first resolution to pulverize}, no more processed sugar (except for Godiva), low fat non trans fat foods and all that crap. I've already started with keeping the food diary. I am focusing on portion control, and implementing all 4 food groups. Not just pizza, fries, burgers and cake. I am learning a lot from DIETING FOR DUMMIES as well as THE MAKER'S DIET.

3. Work on my attitude. I need to be less staunch at work and not so standoffish with customers. The calls are recorded and we do get graded on random calls. I have had no bad calls, but somehow a call that was pulled changed our policy on disconnecting calls from customers who use vulgar language. Apparently, I was CONFRONTATIVE with a customer and this is why they began to cuss at me. Yes, I agree-I too think that is a vicious lie, but I am not the powers that be.

4. I will not mess with my hair. This means NO DYING OR CUTTING. I am not in the military anymore, so I don't need a military cut. As for the dying-you think I'd learn my lesson by now. EVERYTIME I DO DYE MY HAIR, I REALIZE HOW BAD IT LOOKS WHEN IT DRYS. Except that one time, but everyone else said it looked really bad. I am not going to look like a golden retriever or a fat Eminem this year.

5. Keep track of all expenses. I am going to keep a shoebox filled with receipts from all of my purchases this year. I will not make frivolous purchases, as I do not have space for any CRAP.

6. I will TRY to not make fun of idiots, both blatantly or secretively. I will not judge others and I'll try to be less shallow this year. Yeah.