Skiing at Wintergreen.

I went skiing at wintergreen the day after christmas. Actually snowboarding and blading. I realized while snowboarding that I am tired of winter activities and that this was way too much work for such little fun. I learned to ski at wintergreen when I was 3 years old. Either I am a fast learner, or my mom drives a bottle of vodka. I'll have to ask my dad. Regardless, I decided that I was tired of this when I busted my @$$ within 5 seconds of beginning down the hill. The rest of the run was flawless, until I planted getting off the lift. That run was flawless as well, and I did do a bit of showing out. But my feet weren't used to my snowboard boots, so my arches are literally in pain. I decided to try my mom's ski blades. I grabbed my ski boots (I took my board and skis-turns out my skis are so old that they can't calibrate them due to liability issues) and, with a few minor adjustments, was ready to take off on the blades. Blades are smaller than kid's skis and have rounded edges. My mom had said they would be slow because they were the small ones or some crap like that. WRONG. I learned quick that weight had a LOT to do with velocity on these blades. I am sure that there were sparks coming from my feet as I took off down the hill. It was like national lampoon's christmas vacation and the sledding thing when clark put the food additive on the thing.

So, I am flying down the hill-I think I hit a few people with my poles-and that's when the inevitable happens. I am used to young kids who have no idea what they are doing run into me on the slopes at least 1 time per trip. Apparently, the blades were on a vendetta, avenging me to non skiing little punks on the slopes. I was flying down the hill at 40 mph and I flew through a church group while screaming cuss words, and then I ended up taking out these 4 kids. Yeah, all at the same time. Seriously, it was like human bowling. I skiied over this one kid and I think he was crying and saying something about my weight. THAT"S JUST RUDE-he didn't know me-he has no right to comment on my weight. So, after I skied over him, I did a triple lutz and slid down the hill at 40 mph for a quarter of a mile. Some other kid came over and helped was helping me up, but then he started talking funny and I couldn't understand him. I looked over at him, and I think I inadvertantly used his face as leverage to get up off the ground. In reality, I used his shoulder for support and this tightened his scarf over his mouth and he couldn't speak. As soon as I was up, the skis took off and I left my poles with the kid inadvertantly. I crashed really good at the bottom of the hill and slid headfirst for another quarter of a mile, and this time my pants decided to open up and take some snow home. In my pants. And underwear.