I thought the weirdest shit on my friends wedding registry; a rechargeable salt and pepper mill or something. Okay.

 It was the cheapest thing on the registry. And the weirdest. So of course I had to.

But Jebus Cries!!! That's crazy thing called life it's just becoming a bigger, weirder dumpster fire cluster fuck every fucking week.

Choose your own gender, identify as a blender, but don't forget to plug-in your salt and pepper shaker. All the shits I never ender...